


Across space, across time, across the stars

by brianaa_c



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, enjoy it bc I cried like 30 times writing this, so much fluff your teeth will rot, the rise of skywalker ending? we don't know her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:35:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21932509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brianaa_c/pseuds/brianaa_c
Summary: "What happened to me and to everyone else is because of us. We are ultimately the ones who choose our actions, and we are the ones who have to live with the consequences. I fell to the dark side because I made choices that put me there, just like my grandfather, regardless of who the voice was in our heads. But you're the reason why I'm here now, and not dead in the middle of some battlefield." Ben pauses then, giving her a slight smile. "Being someone's reason to live doesn't sound very dark side to me. Neither does being in love."AKA, the fix-it fic where everyone lives happily ever after.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 25
Kudos: 263





	Across space, across time, across the stars

**Author's Note:**

> So I don't acknowledge the ending of The Rise of Skywalker to be canon, THIS is my canon, and I hope you all enjoy it :)

Getting to Exegol was easy. The coordinates were already in her possession thanks to Ben's wayfinder, and Luke's X-wing was fancy enough to practically fly itself.

_Leaving_ Exegol was not. Especially with a thirty-year-old man resting his full weight on her shoulders as she tries her best to carry him out.

Although he healed her - although she was no longer bleeding, she was still bruised. Every step hurt, discomfort seeping into her joints, and she's almost glad that he's unconscious for the fact that he can't hear her grit out the moans of pain she can no longer hold back as they near the exit to the temple.

Rey can't get to the X-wing fast enough. She needs to get them off this planet and forget about it forever. The TIE Ben stole from the Death Star would probably be the better option; it was roomier and the Resistance had no way of tracking it, but she would rather die again than to leave something that belonged to Luke behind on the ugliest planet imaginable. Plus, the TIE represented everything she wanted to get away from. The TIE would stay. 

Ben comes to when she brings them outside into the open and the wind whips her loose hair around on her face. With a groan, he tries to stand without her help, but he only stumbles forward, falling onto his hands and knees. He lets out a low curse that Rey isn't sure she's ever heard him say.

Rey is instantly kneeling beside him, her hand on his back with the other around his forearm, trying her best to pick him back up, her own pain all but forgotten. Between his wounds inflicted by Palpatine and his valiant effort to save her, he had almost no life force left. It was there, but barely. He needed to let her help him. Rey takes in a deep breath as she lifts him once more, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, holding him up by her grip around his waist. She tried to ignore the open wounds on his back that were currently turning her arm wrappings crimson. She wanted to heal him, but she wasn't sure if she could do so after quite literally just dying. And if she couldn't, she didn't want to waste any time trying when she _should_ be getting him to safety. But she could sense the Force beginning to make him stronger, and so she pushes on. 

The X-wing barely fits her, let alone the giant of a person Ben Solo is. But Rey maneuvers them so he can lean against the back of the pilot seat to rest, and there's just enough room in between his thighs for her to sit somewhat comfortably. She thinks he's either sleeping or unconscious once more as she eventually finds a way into the now clear airspace, making the jump to lightspeed as quickly as possible.

She doesn't know where she's going. She didn't enter any coordinates, nor does she exactly know where specific planets are. She wasn't familiar with the Unknown Regions in the slightest, only knew what she knew from her short stint on Starkiller Base, but she knew they were at least leaving the region. 

Deserts weren't an option. She's had enough sand for multiple lifetimes, and it reminded her of her loneliness. The Western Reaches held too much history for them both, and if she got anywhere near the Core, the Resistance was sure to find them. Which might not be a _bad_ thing, but certainly wouldn't be a good thing, either. Ben was a war criminal now that the Resistance won. Even though he was being influenced by evil itself, he still did what he did. And without Leia there to calm the masses, the last thing she wanted was for him to walk through the middle of the planets the Resistance had a stronghold on. She just got him, and she'd be damned if she let anyone take him away.

Rey senses him stir awake behind her by the time she settles on Batuu. The Outer Rim has a penchant for being a bit dangerous, and it had always been heavily involved with both the Empire and the Republic, but she was a scavenger, and he was a fighter. They'd be just fine. And once they're both ready, they can move on and find a permanent home.

"Can you stand?" She asks him once she lands at a port and opens the airlock. It's the first actual words spoken between the two since she said his name and kissed him, and her cheeks redden at the memory. It's dark, and the humidity is frizzing the hair already stuck to her forehead from earlier exertion. She doesn't know what day it is; if their fight with Palpatine took ten minutes or ten days. And honestly, she can't bring herself to care. All she wants at this point is a bed.

Ben huffs out a breath, nodding as they make their way down. He's shaky on his feet, she notices, but that doesn't stop him from taking her hand in his when they start to walk to whatever town is closest to them. Her hand feels like it was made to hold his, just like the rest of her was made for him. It leaves her speechless whenever she reminds herself that they actually _were _made for each other. That the Force made her to compliment him.

Without any masks or hoods, and with obvious blood still dried on their foreheads and necks, they have to work quickly to avoid being seen or questioned. They find new clothes, food, and a room for the next few nights. Rey does most of the talking to avoid any attention being drawn to Ben, but he steps in when a merchant is being particularly rude to her. With a wave of his hand, the man agrees to give everything to them for free, and Rey tries her best to act obliviously grateful as Ben bites the inside of his cheek to hide a smile.

The rented apartment isn't much. It has a kitchen nook and a walk-in refresher and a balcony that overlooks the nearby forest, but it's nicer than anything she's ever been in. It puts even Leia's Resistance bunk to shame but probably isn't up to par with what the previous Supreme Leader was used to. Ben collapses onto the bed as she gathers her new clothes in her arms, bringing them with her to the fresher. Anxiety crawls its way up the back of her neck at the thought of letting him out of her sight, but she's also not sure how he'd react if she asked him to join her, and so she leaves the subject alone as she closes the door behind her.

Rey makes the water so hot it burns her skin. She needs to wash the past two days away. She scrubs the Palpatine name out of her skin. She wants nothing to do with him or his legacy. Guilt settles into her stomach as she washes her hair. She belonged to the very family that tried to destroy Ben's. It didn't make her responsible but it _did_ make her feel culpable, and so she tries to scrub that away, too.

She isn't satisfied until her hair is squeaky clean and a whole new layer of skin is revealed. Her shoulders and knees ache as she steps into a modest pair of sleep shorts, pulling a plain tunic over her head, flipping her wet hair out from under the collar. The dried blood and thick soot that coated her skin are now gone, tired eyes staring back at her as she looks into the small mirror above the sink. She still looks like herself, even with the revelation of who she actually was. That was a good sign.

It's Ben's turn to bathe, and he emerges from the fresher in fitted pants and another black tunic. She hopes to see him in color one day. Maybe green. 

They sit at the small table and eat, trying their best to stay awake long enough to appease their growling stomachs. Ben stabs the fruit on his plate while Rey nibbles on whatever meat the vendor gave her. Whatever it is, it's delicious. They eat everything. 

Rey hasn't stopped thinking of kissing him. She hasn't been able to get his grin out of her mind. She feels like she's staring at him like she's a juvenile with a crush as he sips on his water. Although she knows she had a family, she only remembers being by herself, and now she no longer was. She didn't know how to act. He glances up then, catching her staring, and even though she blushes she can't look away. He gives her a light smile and the corners of his eyes crease like they did after she kissed him, and she can't help but smile back. Kylo Ren never seemed to even know how to smile, but Ben Solo seems like he can't stop. 

She continues to stare, long after he looks away and continues to eat. The fact that he's next to her, the fact that they've _won_ and there's no higher power after them... she can't believe it. Nothing is standing between them being together anymore. They're no longer begging each other to switch sides. The anger and heartbreak have dissipated between them. They can just _be_.

Later, Ben lays on his stomach across the bed, his shirt clenched in one of his hands as Rey works on the wounds at his back. She found some sort of acidic medicine in one of the cabinets, and after wracking her brain to try and remember a few words of Huttese, she renders it safe for humans. She uses milk and powder to create nontoxic glue, and washes and rips her armbands, using them as bandages. It's not nearly as efficient as bacta, but it'll have to do until she can get the real thing.

"You're good at this," he notes, turning his head to glance behind him at her. He winces when she dabs the medicine on the gash by his shoulder, gripping the tunic in his hand tighter.

"I had to do this on myself more than I should probably admit," she tells him, laying the bandage across his skin, pressing it down to dry. "You get creative after a while." 

He seems like he wants to say more, but for once, Rey is glad he can read her mind because he doesn't respond with a follow-up question. She missed her parents, but Jakku, Palpatine... she wanted to forget all of it. She wanted new memories starting now. Starting with Ben.

"There," she breathes, dipping her fingernail under the corner of his makeshift bandage to make sure it stays in place. "All done." 

She sits back as he picks himself up with a grunt, in no clear rush to put his tunic back on. Instead, he reaches for her, his fingertips falling on her cheek, just how she touched him in the Sith temple. Rey forgets how to breathe as he looks at her, somewhere in between awe and devotion. She wanted this for so long, this sense of belonging she always dreamed of... she's speechless now that she finally has it.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks, a shy smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. Soon he'll learn he never has to ask again. She could spend the rest of her life kissing him and it still wouldn't be enough. 

His lips are on hers before she can complete her nod. It's still innocent, but not quite as hesitant as their first kiss was. Rey falls into him, reaching up to wrap an arm gingerly around his neck, drawing herself closer. She takes her time as she kisses him, realizing this is one of countless. She'll get to do this for the rest of her life. Her heart beats faster at the thought, and it kicks into hyperdrive when a firm arm wraps around her waist. 

Ben kisses her until she's breathless, and kisses her once more before pulling away. She vaguely registers the warmth spreading throughout her body, and Rey is acutely aware of the fact that they're sitting on a bed, but he's still injured and she's still reeling. In time, maybe they can explore what's between them further. 

When they lay down beneath the thick covers, a strong arm circles around her waist perfectly, his lips fitting into a kiss on her forehead as he pulls her close. Rey lets out a sigh, scooting closer as she settles into her pillow.

He's asleep in what seems like seconds, but dreams can't seem to find her.

She's tired; exhausted to the point of deliriousness. But he's beginning to snore, and she'd much rather listen to that all night than try to find sleep for herself. It reminds her they're alive. Reminds her that he's here with her, _here in this bed _with her, and she's so happy she feels like she's floating.

Rey studies his face with the limited light Batuu's moons are giving her through the windows. In fleeting Force-bond glances, she'd seen Kylo Ren sleep. But that was always _Kylo Ren_. He was always so guarded; even when he slept, he was frowning. But now that she has Ben Solo in front of her it's a completely different story. He trusts her, she figures, to the point where he lets his guard down around her. She reaches out to push his dark hair from his forehead gently, tucking it behind his ear, trying not to wake him. His face relaxes under her touch and he lets out a content groan, the heavy arm around her waist pulling her closer in his sleep.

This is the vision, she realizes, that she had when their hands first touched. The vision of their shared future. Warmth spreads through her chest as her toes trail up his calf under the warm blankets out of comfort, wrapping her legs up in his. It was always supposed to be like this. They were always meant to find each other. Always meant to be together.

It's the first time since he was a little boy that he slept through the night peacefully.

* * *

Leia visits him early in the morning. Ben suspects Rey must have known, because she's been more than willing to put distance between them for the first time in twenty-four hours, muttering something about making them breakfast in the kitchen without needing any of his help. 

"You have your hands full with her," his mother teases him, referring to Rey. "Her temper puts even yours to shame if I remember correctly." 

"Hmm," he passively responds, gazing out the window from his seat in the living quarters. They were surrounded by forest. He briefly remembers Rey's thoughts on Takodana, about how much she loved the greenery. He finds himself almost shocked he remembers her thoughts from their first meeting, and how easy it was to read her mind. But then he remembers the dyad theory and figures it was inevitable. He knew her thoughts before he even knew _her_, because they were his thoughts, too. "It wasn't really _my_ temper though, was it?"

Leia's face falls, and he realizes too late he put too much aggression behind his words. There's so much animosity, so much pain within what's left of their family that has been left unaddressed for so long, neither are sure how to move forward. But although Ben Solo might no longer be the boy he once was, he was still her son. There was still hope. "I'm sorry," Leia finally says, taking a deep breath as she moves to sit next to her son. "For not understanding what you were going through. For sending you away. For not knowing how to help you during a time when you needed me and your father the most." 

_His father_. The guilt that took permanent residence in his heart reemerges, hot and painful in his chest. Familiar tears pinch the backs of his tired eyes. "I'm sorry, too," he tells her, finally looking his mother in the eye. There was so much more that he wanted to say, but he couldn't find the words. "For everything." He settles on. He has time. When they're both ready, he'll give her a better apology.

Leia gives him a small smile, taking one of his hands in both of hers. Touching her through the Force wasn't the same as having her in front of him in the flesh, but it was _something_. "I am _so_ proud of you," she whispers, squeezing his fingers. "And I will _always_ love you. No matter what, you are my _son_. And nothing will ever change that."

Ben knows he's crying freely now, but he can't bring himself to give a damn. "I love you, mom," he confesses, trying to keep his breathing even. "And I'm so, _so_ sorry. I wish I could go back and do everything differently." 

She reaches up to caress his cheek, just like she did when he was little, flooding him with memories he desperately tried to keep locked away for years. "We can't change the past, Ben," she tells him, her eyes warm. "We can only work to build a better future. And I think that you've found someone that has made it abundantly clear that she's more than willing to help you with that." 

_Rey_. He can't help but allow a fond smile to ghost across his face as he reaches out through their bond, comfort settling into his shoulders as he feels her acknowledge him on the other end. "You think so?" He asks his mother, a bit sheepish.

"Don't ever doubt your emotions, Ben," she tells him with a wink. _"Or_ hers. Like I always said: love is more than a candle. Love-" 

"-Can ignite the stars," he finishes, remembering the saying she always used to repeat to him. As a kid, he always thought it was stupid. But now that he found Rey...

Rey walks through the threshold leading to the kitchen then, and his attention is drawn instantly to her. He can't help but relax at the sight of her, but when he turns back to his mother, she's gone.

"Are you okay?" Rey asks him, instantly going to him without a second thought. Of course, she saw his tear-stained cheeks. Or she senses his emotions. She knew him like the back of her hand, after all.

His arms are outstretched towards her before he even realizes that he's reaching for her, and Rey falls into him, sitting in his lap, curling into his chest. She fits against him perfectly. She belongs in his arms. He never wants her anywhere else. 

"Never better," Ben murmurs into her hair as she hugs him, kissing the top of her head. It's mind-blowing, how easy it is to be affectionate with her, even after everything they've both been through. It's the easiest thing he's ever done in his life.

"I warmed some bread and found a few spreads," she tells him, nuzzling against his cheek. Warmth spreads through his chest. "If you're hungry, that is," she adds like it's an afterthought, not making any effort to remove herself from his grasp anytime soon.

Ben follows her train of thought instantly, and he moves a hand to grip her knee, running a hand up her back as she stares up at him with those innocent, big brown eyes. She smiles at him when his face nears hers, and her eyes flutter closed once he presses his lips against her mouth. 

She wraps an arm around his neck as she deepens their kiss, and it's not long before she's grabbing at the collar of his tunic, pulling it up and over his head with little protest from the man beneath her. Rey pulls back enough to take in the expanse of his exposed skin, her heart beating faster as she runs her hands down his chest, her fingers tracing where his scar would have been. There's still so much of him she wants to explore. She reminds herself that she has all the time in the world to do so.

He's kissing her again, his lips a bit rougher, sliding a firm hand up the back of her clothed thigh. But his fingers come into contact with where a heavy part of a Sith statue struck her when she unintentionally destroyed the temple when she killed the Emperor, causing her to wince in uncomfortable pain, instinctively drawing away from him. Ben lightly chuckles, kissing her once more before pulling away from her completely, watching her swollen lips pout at him. "We should probably eat," he tells her, rubbing the hand on her back up and down between her shoulder blades.

"Probably," she responds, a bit sheepish, allowing him to carry her in his arms into the kitchen.

* * *

Rey finds him on the balcony early one morning, standing with his hands clasped behind his back, face tilted up to the sun with his eyes closed. She can't help but stare at him. He was so beautiful.

"Join me?" He murmurs, not moving a muscle, his voice even softer than usual. He's meditating. Or _was_, before she interrupted him.

She realizes it's something all Force-users are supposed to do, but she still feels like she walked in on an intimate moment. "No," she responds, shaking her head when he peeks an eye open at her when she took too long to answer. "I don't... I usually get frustrated when meditating. I don't last that long before giving up."

His shoulders lower as he maneuvers himself out of his stance, and Rey knows that whatever trance he had himself in was now long gone. "Trust me, I can tell," he quips, the corner of his mouth rising into a half-smile.

Her eyes widen at his words. "And what is _that_ supposed to mean?" She asks, reaching out to shove his shoulder. Ben laughs as he catches her hand in his, and Rey can't help but smile back. His laugh charms her. She wants to bottle the sound and take it with her wherever she goes, so she can listen to it whenever she wants.

"You're never centered when you fight," he explains, reaching up to push his messy hair from his dark eyes. "It's far too easy to get inside your head."

Rey listens, her mind instantly going to their last fight on the Death Star, remembering how he bested her. How, if Leia didn't call out to him, he probably could have killed- _No_. She shakes her head, removing the memory from her mind as quickly as it came, filing it away in a box she plans to deadbolt shut. Kylo Ren and Rey Palpatine were now dead. There's no valid reason to bring them up ever again. "You're probably right," she finally agrees, stepping closer. "So what do you suggest?"

"Here." His hands go to her hips, spinning her around, pressing her back into his chest. She's facing the forest, practically feeling the moisture on her skin from Batuu's humidity. Aside from a few random insects, it was generally quiet. Still. "Close your eyes," he tells her softly, and she follows his directions, letting out a sigh.

"It's not going to work," she warns him, earning her another chuckle.

"Give it a chance," he murmurs, moving his mouth near her ear, and the proximity of his face keeps her quiet, her cheeks beginning to redden. "Clear your mind. Get rid of every thought. Put yourself only in this moment. Outside of this, nothing else matters."

She listens, ridding herself of any ideas of insecurities or past experiences, living solely in the present. Rey can feel her shoulders relax, and she lets out one deep breath after another. 

"Now reach out," he whispers in her ear, resting his hands on her shoulders, grounding her when she feels like she's about to float away. "Reach out to your surroundings. Utilize the Force that flows between every single thing to your advantage. Now connect to it." 

And she does, quite easily. She feels the flowers blooming outside between her fingertips as she reaches for them. The tall grass beneath her feet as she walks. The wind blowing through her loose hair as she nears the lake. The warmth of locals surrounding her as they walk through the nearby market. But most importantly, she feels the man behind her, currently running his fingertips down her bare arms. What usually gives her goosebumps now leave lines of fire in his touch's wake. She never felt closer to him than she does now, and she can't help but shiver at the intimacy that hits her hard. Rey allows her head to lean back against his chest when his fingers trail back up to her shoulders, her breaths becoming shallow.

"What do you feel?" His voice is so quiet, she isn't completely sure that he said anything at all. But he knows exactly what she's feeling; their bond is wide open, and she can feel him comfortably in her mind. He wants to hear it for himself.

_"Everything._ I feel everything," she breathes, shuddering when his fingers trail down her arms once more. "And it feels like you're touching every nerve on my body." 

She feels his breath against her cheek as his thumb brushes the inside of her elbow. "When you break the Force down to its bare necessities; when you meditate," he tells her, his voice a bit huskier than usual. "Everything becomes heightened. Touch included." He makes it a point to brush his lips against her cheek, and something she hasn't allowed herself to feel in so long bursts through her body. _Desire_. 

A finger reaches up to brush against her collar bone, left mostly bare thanks to her tank top. Her knees almost give out, her lips parting open in a light sigh. Was this the work of their Force bond? Of their dyad? Or was this something of their own making? Was the pleasure that's coursing through her completely manmade, something they created together without any sort of divine intervention?

Rey can feel herself breaking her concentration when Ben lets a hand ghost across her stomach, but she desperately wants to remain in this state of bliss. She rises with his chest as he takes a deep breath against her, and her skin feels almost too tight for her body. "Ben," she sighs out, the Force drawing his name from deep within her, out into the still morning that surrounds them.

"Concentrate," he murmurs into her hair, his fingers threading through hers, holding her hands.

"I can't."

_"Try."_

And honestly, she does. But he reaches up to push her hair from her neck before pressing his lips into the groove between her shoulder and neck, and that concentration suddenly snaps. She turns in his arms and his lips are on hers before she even realizes what she's doing. Her arms wind their way around his neck as his teeth lightly pull on her bottom lip, and she's not even sure the moan she lets into his mouth is completely human. 

She isn't completely sure how they got here, but she feels herself fall onto their shared bed, pulling Ben down with her. His shirt is already off - somewhere on the floor of their living quarters - and her tank top is the next to go, his fingers soft and gentle as they slide up her sides, removing the article of clothing like it was a sacred duty of his. When he pulls back to look at her, Rey would think she'd feel nervous, but the only thing she feels is the adrenaline in her veins, too blissed out to feel self-conscious. She pulls him back to her by the back of his neck, leaning back, allowing him to settle between her thighs as she kisses him again.

Pleasure spikes throughout her body when Ben kisses down the line of her jaw, working her out of her pants. She guesses he doesn't know much more than she does about what they're currently doing, but she imagined it. She pretended to live in this moment so many different times, it almost feels like déjà vu. She lost count of how many times she dreamt of this, in the corner of her Resistance bunk, pretending the hand between her thighs was his instead of hers, biting down on a pillow to hide the feelings she truly had for the Supreme Leader. Maybe this is something they did in a prior life, one where they were destined to be together in as well.

Her hands work on their own accord as they slide down his back, past the newly-healed wounds and ridges of muscle formed from decades of training, fingertips finally finding what they were looking for at the waistband of his pants. Rey edges the fabric down past the round of his backside before he reaches down, removing them from his body completely. He pulls her closer, she hikes her knee higher up on his hip, and he swallows her pants as he kisses her hard, her fingers trembling as they find purchase on his sharp jaw.

Wordlessly, he reaches out through their bond. Whether he was looking for permission or reassurance, Rey wasn't sure. Feeling him everywhere not only physically, but emotionally and mentally as well, was almost too much for her. Almost too overwhelming. She trails her foot up the back of his calf with a gasp, opening her legs wider for him. 

Ben pulls back just enough to watch her face as he guides himself to her core, pushing into her slowly. She lets out a trembling breath, biting down on her bottom lip as she turns her head to the side. She wasn't new to pleasure but she _was_ new to doing this with someone else, and she felt full. Impossibly full. But... in a good way.

"This okay?" He asks, breathless as he leans down to her, pressing his forehead into her temple. He's shaking.

She can only nod in response, not quite able to catch her breath. Whoever said this was supposed to hurt was seriously disturbed. Rey hasn't felt this peaceful in her entire life. As he pushes all the way into her and lets out a groan into her hair, she's sure of it. She was made for him and only him. They fit together perfectly.

A hand finds its way into his hair while the other wraps tightly around his shoulders, holding him to her as they start to move together. It's a completely new sensation, but they find their rhythm quickly, perfectly matching her thrust with his. And what usually takes her hours to get this close to orgasm already has her on the edge, her thighs shaking as they wrap tightly around his hips.

His hands are everywhere; her hair, her breasts, her hips, her knees, her core. And what his hands can't cover he uses the Force, wrapping her in their bond, enveloping her in his warmth. She lets out another moan against his shoulder when he leans down to kiss the side of her neck, his hips stuttering as she holding him impossibly tight in her body's grip. 

Her toes curl, her eyes screw shut, and every single muscle in her body goes tight before everything releases, all at once. Her fingertips dig into the muscle at his shoulders, soft moans slipping through swollen, bruised lips as they fill the room. And it doesn't take long before Ben is finishing, muttering curse words in various languages into the skin on her chest as his hips slow against hers before stopping completely. 

Rey doesn't dare let him move far, even after he separates himself from her. She clings to him as he falls onto his back, staring up at him as he tries to catch his breath, using his strong shoulder as her pillow. He was so beautiful. He was perfect. She loved him. She _loved_ him.

Her eyes flutter closed when he reaches a hand to her hair, his fingertips threading through the strands. Rey uses her finger to connect the various freckles on his chest, her touch earning her a shudder or two from the man below her. She'd seen his bare chest so many times, whether it was through their bond or from her memory, but she'd never get used to it. It was almost like he was made of marble, like he was some sort of deity. Like the Force created him with its bare hands, carving out every single muscle meticulously. 

"What's on your mind?" He asks her, leaning down to kiss the top of her head, brushing the hair from her forehead.

Her eyes find his, and if she didn't know any better, she'd think he's pulling the words from her throat himself, because there's no way in hell she can stop them. "I'm in love with you," she tells him, the words rolling off her tongue like it was the easiest thing she's ever done in her life. And, if she was being honest, it truly was.

She first felt it in her hut on Ahch-to, when she saw him as more of a man and less of a monster as they touched hands. And again, when she looked into his eyes after he killed Snoke. But even when they went their separate ways after the fight on the Supremacy; even when she thought he had completely shattered her for good, that feeling never left. And now that she'd come to terms with it, now that she let it in, she could now put a name to the emotion. 

_Love_. She was in love. And it felt amazing. 

He glances at her, and the look he gives her is so intense, she would have normally looked away. But she holds his gaze even as he traces the line of her face with his finger, pulling her closer as the corner of his full mouth ticks upward. "I love you, too."

And as he kisses her, she knows he meant it.

* * *

They have no concept time. Rey couldn't tell someone what day it was, what the weather was like, or even if it were morning or night. They've barely left their bed. She thinks her hands are permanently embedded in his hair. She knows bruises in the shape of his long fingers cover her skin. Not that she was complaining. At this point, Ben could do whatever he wanted with her, and all she thinks she'd do would be to thank him.

They spend days exploring each other, memorizing every inch of their bodies. Ben figures out that she pulls his hair tighter when she comes on his mouth. Rey realizes she can earn his deepest moan if she presses her tongue to the underside of his head. Making love was a subject they could never tire of learning. And even when they _do_ tire, even when they find time to sleep, it's all Rey dreams about. Whether it was the making of their bond or something they created themselves, Rey was obsessed.

Eventually, to Rey's irrational and selfish disappointment, they start to slowly work their frenzied desire out of their systems. Reluctantly, she releases him from her iron grip for what felt like the first time in days. And when he goes to bathe, she finds time to go through her belongings, fingers brushing against Luke and Leia's lightsabers from the bottom of her bag. She completely forgot she still had them with her. 

"We should do something with these," she tells Ben once he steps into the room with a towel strung low around his hips, raising the hilts out of her bag for him to see. "Maybe we can make our own."

Carefully, he makes his way over to her, plucking his mother's from her grip. He weighs it in his hand, turning it over, studying it. "I think I might keep it," he tells her, a wistful look on his face. "It feels right, I think." 

Rey glances at the legacy saber in her hand before she passes that one to him as well. "Have both," she tells him, pushing it into his free hand. 

He tries to hand it back, but she only shakes her head. "You know it better than I do," he tells her, looking down at it. "And it called to you."

"I think it called to me _because_ it knew I would eventually be in a position to give it to you," she says, reaching up to push a tuft of wet hair behind his ear. "I felt like I was watching it; it never felt like mine. It felt like Anakin's, and then Luke's, and now yours." 

Plus, she saw the way he fought with it on Exegol. It has always been his.

* * *

Rey reaches for his hand as she looks back at the home they had for the past few weeks, nostalgia panging in her chest as he leads her to the nearest ship landing port. Batuu wasn't perfect, but it held some sacred memories that she would never forget. And although she wanted to stay, the Resistance's victory was beginning to seep into the Outer Rim, and she still wasn't quite ready to rejoin them yet. She knew that they would make her choose between them and Ben, and she already knew her choice. So, they chose to avoid that confrontation completely by moving on.

"We should come back," she tells him, resting her head on the side of his arm as they walk. She couldn't stop touching him. She can't get close enough. And she knows he secretly likes her affection - craves it, even, just like she does. The warmth that has settled in between her ribs ever since she kissed him back on Exegol and never left grows hotter when he squeezes her fingers.

"Yeah?" He muses, giving a polite smile to the man behind the counter after exchanging a few words in Rhodese, catching the keys to whatever ship as they're tossed to him. He pulls Rey along as he leads her to a modest spacecraft, big enough for a pilot and a passenger. She yields the cockpit to him, but she keeps his hand for herself, holding it prisoner in her lap as she sits next to him.

She settles in as he fiddles with the various buttons and switches, pulling the ship out of Batuu's atmosphere flawlessly. Rey raises an eyebrow as he inputs specific coordinates, pulling her hand to his perfect mouth, kissing her knuckles as he makes the jump to lightspeed. He might even be a better pilot than her. _Might_.

"Where to now?" She asks him, curiosity peaking when he chooses to ignore her question. And since she figures she's not getting an answer out of him anytime soon, she settles into her seat, closing her eyes. Maybe if she rests, she'll dream of Ben. And maybe in her dream, _that_ Ben will actually answer her questions.

Eventually, her body familiarly lurches forward when he takes them out of lightspeed, and instantly, she frowns at the moon presented in front of her. _"Jedha?"_

"Yes."

"But... it's a desert."

"That it is."

"A _cold_ desert." 

He chuckles at her, shaking her head as they enter the atmosphere. "Good thing we have cloaks." 

Rey tries her best not to sulk as he helps her into her fur parka before exiting their ship after landing, extending a hand to her to help her down. She tightens the warm cloak they traded for on Batuu tighter around her neck, pulling the hood up when he does the same. She might be simply trying to stay out of the Resistance's sight for convenience, but Ben was still the Supreme Leader of the losing side. He might be a victim, but he could also be considered a criminal by her friends. She had to keep him safe.

Ben guides her by the hand through the outskirts of what's left Jedha City, which she quickly realizes isn't much at all. She only heard stories of this moon from Leia and other commanders who were also around during their rebel days, but seeing the Empire's destruction up close was so much worse. Ben continues to lead her further and further from where the holy city once stood, eventually bringing her to where she sees nothing but sand and far-off mountains. But at least there _were_ mountains. Jakku had none of this.

"I know there _has_ to be a reason why we're standing in the middle of an empty crater," she starts, bringing the hand clasped in his to her mouth, blowing on her gloved fingertips to keep them warm. "But I'm clearly not finding the said reason. So can you explain it to me, please?"

He shrugs, like the fact that they're standing in the middle of a desert makes all the sense in the world. For all she knows, it probably does. "You need a lightsaber," he tells her, pushing the hood from his head. "So, you're going to get a kyber crystal."

Instantly, she understands. Jedha City used to be one of the holiest cities in the Jedi faith. It was one of the only locations that still held kyber crystals strong enough to be constructed into lightsabers. But still... "The Empire destroyed the Jedi Temple. They leveled the whole city with the first Death Star."

"They didn't destroy it," he tells her, using his foot to kick at the dirt around him. He reveals patterned stone beneath the sand, what Rey thinks served as some sort of door or hatch. "They _think_ they destroyed it. In reality, they only buried it." 

She drops to her knees, not even thinking about the fact that she's dirtying her new grey pants as she brushes at the sand, pushing it out of the way, revealing more of the door. It's made of stone, she realizes, heavy and sturdy. With his help and a little bit of his lightsaber cutting through petrified rock, she forces it open, revealing what seems to be an endless hole of black beneath it. Instantly, she feels the pull through the Force, pushing her to _something_. Rey has to physically hold herself back to prevent from falling head-first into the temple.

"Here," he says, pushing the legacy saber into her hand as he takes a step back. "You can use it for light when you're down there." 

Rey's brows draw together, sudden panic rising in her chest as she stands back up, pulling him back to her. "You're not coming?" She asks him, hating the way her voice trembles with her question. But they haven't spent any time apart ever since Exegol. She didn't want to part from him now.

"This is something you have to do alone. That everyone has to do alone," he tells her softly, pushing the loose strands of hair blowing around her face behind her ear, pulling her in to kiss her forehead once he senses her uneasiness. "You're lucky, though; I did this on Ilum. I'm almost positive I _actually_ froze my ass off swimming around in that damn frozen lake before I found my crystal." 

Rey knows he's trying to make her feel better, and so she appeases him with a small smile as he recalls the sliver of his past that he allows her to know. Rey leans in to kiss him one more time before igniting the lightsaber, its weight familiar in her hands as she nears the door in the ground. "If I die and you don't follow me in to revive me again, I'm going to be really pissed," she teases him, unable to hide her smile when he tries to give her one of his own.

"I promise I will," he tells her, his voice serious. The look in his eye tells her that was probably a bad joke, but hey. _She_ was the one who died, after all. She could joke all she wanted to about it. "Now go." 

With a deep breath, she closes her eyes and drops into the temple. Luckily, she can control her landing, because the temple is quite a ways down. She breathes in the stale air, allowing her eyes to adjust to the dark. Rey raises the lightsaber above her head to light her way, focusing on its constant whirring in a bid to calm herself down. No one has been down here in generations. She feels like she's intruding. She's not even a Jedi; she shouldn't be here.

Her eyes trail up the looming statues of the legendary Jedi, some left standing, others decimated under her feet. It reminds her all too well of the Sith temple on Exegol, and memories she thought she purged come flooding back. The helplessness she felt when she thought she was alone in front of her grandfather. The pain as he drained their life force. The great emptiness of death that she had the horrible pleasure of experiencing - something she hoped to never feel gain. Her throat constricts, and she can't quite catch her breath. "This was a bad idea," she squeaks out, forcing herself to freeze in her spot when a few rocks fall from the ceiling, their dust settling around her.

"Trust yourself," she hears Ben's voice echo in her head and feels him stroking their bond, using the power he has over her to calm her down. "Follow your instinct. Allow it to guide you." 

Rey knows he can't see her but she nods anyway, taking his words to heart. She doesn't ignore the pull she feels in the Force, allowing it to guide her, past what's left of the worship altars and destroyed pillars, leading her down into the mines. It grows colder as she gets closer to the inner layer of the moon, but that doesn't deter her, using her many years of Jakku scavenger training to maneuver into the ancient halls. She leaps over a gap in the pathway, the heel of her boot catching the rock, causing her to slip. She uses the Force to push herself back up before she can fall into whatever lies beneath this temple, scrambling after the lightsaber as it skids across the smooth rock. "Shit," she breathes, quick to grab its hilt, returning it safely to her grasp. The last thing she needed was to lose the very lightsaber that just found its way back to Ben. 

She grips the lightsaber in her hand more carefully as she swings down into the center of the mine, a glint in the rocks instantly drawing her attention. She nears it, allowing herself to be pulled to it by the Force. Rey reaches out with gloved fingertips to pluck the crystal from the surrounding rocks, allowing a smile to grace her lips as she holds the colorless gem up in the light emitted from Ben's lightsaber. It chose her. It was _hers_. Something finally belonged to _her_.

Rey finds sturdy ground before dropping to her knees, discarding the legacy saber on the ground in front of her, still requiring its light. She removes her small bag from her shoulders, retrieving the metal remnants of her staff. Ben helped her shape it, coating the inside of the wood with the metal that was needed to contain the crystal's power. She glances wistfully at what's left of her staff, finding herself finally ready to leave her past behind her. She was no longer a scavenger on Jakku. She deserves more.

She drops the kyber crystal into the center of her hilt, sealing it with the welding device Ben had to teach her how to use. And with a deep breath, she extends her hands, closing her eyes as she begins to meditate. Rey allows everything to exit her mind, even her thoughts of Ben, focusing solely on bonding with her new weapon. Ben told her it would need to be treated as an extension of her life. She realizes it was easy to imagine it as such.

It feels like years have gone by, but Rey doesn't allow her eyes to open until her new lightsaber finds its way into her hand. Holding her breath, she ignites it, unable to hold back her smile. _She did it_. On her own, without any help, she did it. Leia would be proud of her. Leia _and_ her son.

She practically runs back the way she came, jumping over gaps in the floor and fallen statues, nearly knocking into Ben as she exits the temple, a grin never leaving her face. 

"Well, let's see it," he amuses her, allowing her to hand his grandfather's lightsaber back to him before reaching for her own. She turns the dial on the handle of her staff, and his eyes go wide as he stares at its light. "It's... purple." 

Rey smiles again as she stares at it, pulsating clear and true, a vibrant shade of violet. "What does it mean?" She asks him, turning it in her hand. "I've never seen one like this before."

"It's rare, actually," he says, staring at it with an equal amount of awe. "Powerful dark, powerful light. Aggression, but balance. It's perfect for you." 

She tries her best to ignore it, but she can't help but feel herself deflate at his words. She didn't want powerful darkness. She didn't want _any_ darkness at all. Darkness stole too much from her - too much from _Ben_ \- already. She didn't need to be reminded of it every time she wields her weapon. "Oh," is all she says, reaching down to clip the lightsaber to her belt under her cloak. "Oh."

Rey knows he senses her dejection, and she's relieved when he lets it be, opting to take her hand in his once more. This is what she always wanted, she realizes. Someone who understood her. Someone who knew when she wanted to talk, and when she didn't. Someone who knew her as they knew themselves. She needed Ben. Far more than she ever thought she would.

Ben leads Rey back to their ship, but they don't go far, only traveling to the main planet NaJedha. 

"I'm sorry, I know it's colder here," he's already apologizing when he leads her off the ship, maneuvering the both of them over the purple crystals at their feet. "But it's getting dark, and we're both tired. I figured we could just stay here for a night. There are living quarters in some of the caves. If I remember correctly, there's a base my mother set up during the Empire in her rebel days. I'm sure it's still here." 

"It's okay," is all she says, not exactly paying attention to his words. Her eyes are glued on the horizon - the beauty of the planet, the pink clouds, the abundance of stars. It was so beautiful, she could almost forget about her new lightsaber _and_ the fact that she can no longer feel her toes as she steps through rain puddles. She shivers, and Ben wraps an arm around her, hugging her tightly to his side.

Sure enough, there's a small base nestled in a cave that overlooks a shiny pink lake, right where Ben said there would be. With some effort, he forces the door open, coughing once the light purple, crystalized dust on the ground inside is disturbed. 

"I know it's not much," he tells her, removing his gloves, resting them on the rickety end table by the door. "But it's the best we can do right now. Tomorrow, we'll find a new planet." 

Rey takes the time to glance around as he looks for something to light the room with. It's small, but she can sense Leia's touch. There are warm blankets by the desk, a sitting area, a basic kitchen, and a bedroom fit for a princess in the middle of a war. As she watches Ben light the fireplace, she's left speechless. Something he considers to be 'not much' at all is something she'd kill for to have back on Jakku. She sits on the bed as it hits her. She came from one of the most powerful families in the galaxy, maybe even more powerful than Ben's, and yet she still had nothing but heartbreak and abandonment to show for it. She came from someone who destroyed generations. Who left both her and Ben orphans. Her parents are dead for the very reason his are. It all leads back to one person.

She came from nothing but evil. 

She doesn't even realize she's crying until Ben is seated next to her, his thumbs wiping at her face, kissing her cheek, whispering soft words into her ear about how much he loves her. She feels the warmth of the fire but it doesn't quite reach her bones.

She stares at a spot on the glittery stone wall until her vision blurs. "What did you do when you found out your grandfather was Darth Vader?" She asks him. 

He stills next to her, and he's silent for so long Rey isn't sure he'll even answer her question. "I'm afraid it'll be an answer you don't want to hear," he finally tells her. His voice was harder, guarded now, and Rey hates that she made it sound that way. 

Rey closes her eyes, and new tears that Ben doesn't catch fall down her cheeks. Of course, he wouldn't be absolutely mortified. Her own grandfather was only corrupting him since birth. Everything that he and his family went through, it was because of _her_ bloodline. _Her_ family.

Her shoulders shake, and Ben pulls her into his arms with a tight hug when she starts to cry out. "I'm sorry," she sobs into his cloak, burying her face in his strong chest as she screws her eyes shut. "I'm so, _so_ sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he comforts her, cradling the back of her head, shushing her in her ear. She lets him pull her into his lap, but it only makes her cry harder. Her family brought his nothing but pain, and he loved her in spite of that.

"But everything that happened, happenedbecause of _my_ bloodline," she sniffles, closing her eyes as he brushes his fingers through her hair. "The Empire, the fall of the Jedi, everything that happened to you and-"

"Stop," he says suddenly, cutting her off, taking her face in between his hands to force her to look at him. "What all happened has _nothing_ to do with you. You are _nothing_ like Palpatine. You are good, and you are full of life... and you are my light. And I am in love with you _because_ of that."

Rey blinks. "But the vision I saw-"

"Meant _nothing_," he tells her, and she's never seen him so full of resolve. So sold on what he's saying. "What happened to me and to everyone else is because of _us. We _are ultimately the ones who choose our actions, and _we_ are the ones who have to live with the consequences. I fell to the dark side because I made choices that put me there, _just_ like my grandfather, regardless of who the voice was in our heads. But _you're_ the reason why I'm here now, and not dead in the middle of some battlefield." He pauses then, giving her a slight smile. "Being someone's reason to live doesn't sound very dark side to me. Neither does being in love." 

She reaches up to wipe at her nose. "Do you really believe that?"

Ben caresses her face like she was the most precious thing in his world. "I do. And as hot as you'd look in all black, I don't think it would work out long-term."

Rey can't help but laugh with his attempt at cheering her up, and he gives her a grin that perfectly mirrors the one he had on Exegol. "I love you so much," she tells him, wrapping her arms around his neck, winding her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. She was so in love with him. _So_ _in love_.

"And I love you."

He leans in to kiss her, sweet and slow, but Rey tightens her grip in his hair when he begins to pull away, holding him against her. And luckily for her, Ben instantly understands what she wants, his hands already working on removing her heavy cloak. 

They undress each other quickly, and Rey realizes, as she runs a hand down Ben's chest when he lays her down on their bed, that she's no longer cold. In fact, she's scalding, shaking from the degree of intimacy between them as he tilts her head up to kiss her. She can't get close enough. Every limb she has is wrapped around him, yet she needs to get _closer_. He's in her mind. He's everywhere around her. She wants to spend the rest of her life like this, the scent of Ben Solo never getting the chance to dissipate from her hair or her clothes before he's near her once more.

She's never known love. Of course, she found friendship with Finn and guidance with Leia. But never romantic love. Never _unconditional_ love. Finn put her on a pedestal, and Leia, as good-intentioned as she was, tried to use her to fill the void her son left. But how lucky she is, she thinks as he kisses down her neck, that she has someone who loves her back. That she has someone who knows everything about her, that knows her deepest fears and greatest desires and wants to be with her anyway. There's only one other person in the entirety of the galaxy who knows all about what she's going through - what she _went_ through, and he chooses to love her.

Ben hums out an agreement, reading her thoughts as he slips a hand between her legs, leaning back enough to watch her head fall back against the pillows as she moans. She doesn't understand how he does it, getting her so close to an orgasm before he's even actually touching her. She knows enough to know it has something to do with their bond, something to do with the explicit way he's manipulating it, making his presence in her head feel even more euphoric. 

Her hands are splayed on his back, crying out his name into the frozen air as he enters her. He grips her by the knee around his waist and the hip beneath her, dipping his head to kiss her breasts. She gasps with every thrust, wanting him closer, _needing_ him closer. She hikes her legs around his hips higher, pulls him tighter against her, her fingernails digging deep enough into his shoulders to draw blood. She could probably cut him open and burrow inside of him and it still wouldn't be enough.

"Fuck, Rey," he murmurs, breath labored, grabbing her jaw to kiss her. She loves how he curses. Loves the way he sounds when he says her name like this. 

He forces his hand in between their bodies to find her clit and she's done for. Rey pulls him impossibly tight against her, being as loud as she wants on this deserted planet as she finishes. She pulls his hair, buries her face in his shoulder, arches against him. He finishes almost immediately after, grabbing her waist so hard, she's sure she'll snap in two. The greedy part of her, the part that selfishly holds on to their pleasure, wonders what that'd feel like.

Ben falls on top of her, in no rush to move anywhere else. She rubs his back as they work to even their breathing, closing her eyes when he leans down to kiss the smooth juncture between her neck and shoulder. This is where she belonged. Not on Jakku, not with the Resistance. _Here_.

Eventually, against her protests, he eases off of her, reaching to the stony ground to retrieve his pants. She opts to stay bare, much to his joy, as she joins him under the covers, using his body heat to her advantage to keep warm. The fire was dying, but it was lit just enough to where she could still see the beauty marks on his face.

She watches him lean in to kiss her nose before settling in, closing his eyes to find sleep. And she quickly realizes that she'd been watching him sleep more often than not, the act alone enough to fill her heart with comforting, easy joy. He was so selfless, and she was so in love with him.

"Thank you," she whispers after a long bout of silence, tracing above his eyebrow, the edge of his nose, the sharp line of his jaw. She wanted his face ingrained in every memory she ever had. His face was so beautiful. It was the face of the man who loved her. Who was _made_ solely to love her. She wishes she found him sooner than she did.

"What for?" He murmurs, almost asleep, pulling her closer. And she loves how he does that. How he takes every opportunity to get closer to her, just like she does with him. 

"For bringing me back to life," she quietly answers, and her voice tremors more than she thought it would as she watches him open his eyes at her words. "I never properly thanked you." 

"You don't have to thank me," he tells her, reaching up to brush the hair from her eyes. Ben leans in, dipping his head, kissing just below her collarbone when she arches into him out of habit. "I'd do it a million times over," he breathes against her skin before pulling back to kiss her again, this time on the lips. It's soft and slow and it makes her feel protected as she grips him. 

Rey can't help but smile at his words when he pulls back, settling into his shoulder that became her pillow over the past few weeks, wrapping a hand over his stomach. "I'd do it a million and one."

* * *

It's Ben who makes the ultimate decision to return to the Resistance with Rey.

She hates it, obviously. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. She misses her friends dearly, yes, but she likes being with Ben more. She likes Ben being _alive_ more. And, if she's being honest, she kind of liked not having to answer to anyone. Not having to check in with anyone or report to anyone. Rey _liked_ being able to just wing everything with Ben, allowing him to take her on a tour through the galaxy, showing her everything she would have missed out on if she stayed on Jakku. 

She liked being herself. _Finding_ herself. Ben gave her the chance to do that, and now it seems like it's all slipping away. 

"What are you looking to gain from going to them?" She asks him honestly, watching him dress from the spot on their bed, lounging on her stomach with her feet in the air. They were on some planet in the Expansion Region that Rey never heard of before, surrounded by lush forests and glistening lakes. "I'm serious. Are you looking for absolution? Forgiveness? You shouldn't care about any of them or what they think." 

"But _you_ do," he quips, looking at her as he leans down to slip into his shoes. She finally got him into something green, his lightweight pants paired with a navy vest and cream tunic. She couldn't help but think it was something Han would wear. "It's not fair of me to lock you away on some planet and keep you all for myself."

The corners of Rey's mouth turn upward, maneuvering herself to rest her head in his lap once he sits on the bed. "I personally wouldn't mind that, just so you know." 

Ben humors her, giving her a proper chuckle when he reaches down to brush her cheek with his thumb. He wouldn't particularly mind it either, but that wasn't the point of this conversation. "And we can go back to this, if this is what you truly want. But I can only ignore the transmitter signaling in your bag constantly for so long. They've been trying to reach you for _months_, Rey."

She breaks eye contact then, allowing her eyes to trail down his jaw, his neck, the broad expanse of his shoulders. She wonders if the marks her nails left on his back are still there. "And I'm the one who chose to ignore it," she finally answers him, reaching out to twist the hem of his shirt around her finger. "And I'll continue to ignore it, because bringing you back with me before the new government is in place is too dangerous. Too dangerous for you."

"What's the worst that can happen?" He asks, and she scoffs at his words, rolling her eyes at his lame joke. "If it gets too heated, we can leave. And I promise that if this turns out to be a bad idea, I will take you to any planet and we can live there the rest of our lives if that is what you want."

Rey's eyes find his at the mention of their future. She figured that they wouldn't go their separate ways anytime soon. She already gets anxious when he's simply in the next room over; she isn't even sure that she can exist without him next to her. But now that he said it out loud, now that he vindicated her feelings, that permanent warmth in her chest starts to spread, warm tears pinching the backs of her eyes. She looks away from him before he can notice, letting out a deep sigh, not allowing those happy tears to ever fall. "As long as it's a planet with lots of green," she mumbles, biting the inside of her mouth to keep from joining in with the laugh he gives her. "I'm so sick of deserts." 

Against her better judgment, she allows him to take her hand and lead her to a ship. This time it's her turn to pilot, reaching forward to input the base coordinates as Ben reaches up to rub her back. "They're still on Ajan Kloss," she tells him like he didn't already know, like the First Order didn't know they were there the whole time. She wonders if their tumultuous relationship had a hand in being the reason why he didn't just blow them up over the past year when he had ample chance to. "Are you sure about this?" 

He certainly looks paler than normal, but he nods anyway. "I'd rather just get it over with now." 

They're mostly silent on the relatively quick trip to the jungle moon, and she reaches out to grab his hand and squeeze it with reassurance when she takes them out of lightspeed. "It'll be okay," she tries to comfort him, but she's not doing a great job of convincing either of them. Not everyone knew he was Leia's son. And even if they did, would that make a difference? Finn and Poe knew, and they still hated him just as much as the everyday pilot. 

Rey's heart is in her throat when she lands the ship, her stomach lurching when people start to file out from various shelters and tents to see who's in this ship. She doesn't dare let go of his hand, squeezing it painfully tight as he stands. Her knees feel like they're about to give out. She feels like she's going to throw up. And before she knows it, the sealed hatch opens, and she's face to face with the resistance once more. 

"Um," she tries to speak, swallowing when her peers stare back at her, their joy at her presence quickly turning sour once they begin to understand who's beside her. "Where's Finn and Poe?" 

It's Rose who steps through the crowd, eyeing Ben before turning to Rey. "They're in the middle of a republic briefing with other planet leaders," she tells her, trying her best not to cross her arms, and Rey is grateful. Rose always tried to remain positive, even if the _actual_ Supreme Leader of the First Order is standing in front of her. "But I truly doubt they want to see this, so it's best we all leave them in the dark." 

Rey's cheeks burn. She knew this would happen. She _warned_ Ben that this would happen. And now that she's in this situation, she's starting to get aggravated. He risked everything, almost _died_, so Palpatine would be defeated. So the Resistance would win. And they're still treating him like he's still the enemy. It makes her blood boil.

"For everyone wondering," she says, loud enough for her voice to carry, pulling Ben - who has since gone rigid - with her when she steps forward. "This is Leia Organa's son, so let's just get it out of the way now. Feel how you want to feel about him, but I quite literally wouldn't be standing here without him. The Sith would have _won_ if he wasn't there to help me. So you can hate him or you can love him, but you _will_ respect him, even if it's just for Leia's sake." She pauses, watching everyone react to her words. "This isn't me asking. This is me telling. And I'm _telling_ you all to bring us to Finn and Poe." 

At first, Rey doesn't think anyone is going to say anything. But Rose finally sighs, waving at them, motioning to follow her as she goes back into the crowd. Rey tugs Ben along by the hand, gluing him to her side. She's relieved no one is looking him in the eye. She isn't sure she'd be able to bite her tongue if any of them looked at him wrong. 

Rose leads them through the jungle, back to the tented area that Rey remembered served as some sort of headquarters. There's a table with Finn and Poe seated around it, along with other people she didn't recognize. Rose goes to Finn, leaning down to tell him something softly enough so she wouldn't disturb the meeting. Finn's eyes, full of life and wonder, snap up to meet Rey's, but once he takes in who's beside her, that glint of happiness is gone. He nudges Poe, and he's much less polite, marching over to them before Finn can even stop him.

Rey calls to her lightsaber before she even can actually process what she's doing, stepping in front of Ben as she holds the purple blade in front of them protectively. Poe glances at it in surprise before returning his eyes to Rey's, hurt and anger and confusion swelling behind his pupils. "Seriously?"

She raises an eyebrow at him, challenging him. She knows she's being drastically irrational, threatening Poe with her lightsaber in the same fashion she threatened Luke when he wouldn't tell her the truth about what happened that night when the Jedi temple burned down. But the common denominator in both scenarios was Ben, and she'd be damned if she lets anyone with ill intentions near him again. "Seriously." 

"Okay, okay," Finn says, following Poe to them, pulling his friend back by the shoulder. "Take a breath, everyone." He turns to Rey then, before glancing behind her at Ben. "And explain why _he's_ here." 

And she does. She tells them about who she is - she _really_ is. Who Ben is. How they worked together on the ground against the Knights of Ren and Palpatine's guards on Exegol while everyone else was fighting in the air. How she died and he brought her back to life. But she makes it a point to leave out the nature of their relationship, both the physical part and also the mental. Their Force bond was something special to her, and she liked having it only between them. It was intimate, and she liked to keep it that way.

"We're just passing through," she finishes, her lightsaber back on her hip, relaxing her shoulders when Ben's hand finds the small of her back from under her lightweight cloak. "Ben thought it would be best for me to check in. Let everyone know I'm still alive and well, and all that." 

With a deep sigh, Finn steps forward, reaching for her hand. Rey takes it but doesn't stray an inch from Ben's side. "I'm glad you're safe," is all he says, squeezing her hand before letting it drop, turning to the man beside her, trying his best to hide a frown. "And thank you for reviving her. _Ben."_

Rey's lucky he's smart, because he makes the right decision in staying silent, only nodding in acknowledgment at his sarcastic words. But Poe is far less forgiving, and if looks could kill, Ben would be dead ten times over. "The only reason you're allowed to be standing here right now is because it's what Leia would have wanted," he tells him, giving him one last killer look before walking back to the table. 

Finn only glances at Rey apologetically. "I'm glad you're safe. And happy. Really. It looks good on you. Good luck in the future," he tells her before following Poe back to the table, leaving Rey and Ben alone with themselves. 

Ben is the first to speak. "Well, that certainly could have gone worse," he tells her, cracking a smile when she rolls her eyes at him. She reaches for the hand on her back, leading him away from the meeting hand in hand. She can feel eyes on them, especially Finn and Poe's, but she can't bring herself to care. This is who she was, and this is who she wanted to be with. They'd come around. She's sure of it.

He grows quiet when they near the Millennium Falcon, right where Lando landed it after the final battle, untouched since. "Would you like to go inside?" She asks him softly, watching him reach out to touch the outer metal with his free hand.

Ben's brows draw together. "It's just a piece of shit ship," is all he says, but she doesn't miss the longing in his eyes. The way he keeps reaching out to touch it as they walk around it. 

"Maybe," she quips, remembering just how many times she had to repair it over the short year she watched over it. It's not like he was wrong. She reaches forward to press the button to open the door, watching him stare on wistfully. "But it's _your_ piece of shit ship now." 

He's the one who steps forward first, pulling her along behind him by the hand that seemed to now be permanently embedded in his, watching the ship light up and come to life with his presence. He raises a hand to the cushioned walls, letting his fingers linger as he walks to the cockpit. Rey is patient as he takes his time, fumbling with switches and pressing buttons before finally sitting down in the pilot's seat. She stands behind him, resting her elbows on the back of the chair as he takes it all in. 

"Feel familiar at all?" She asks, surrendering her hand to him when he reaches behind his head for it, pulling it down to his chest. He was almost uncomfortable with the memories that he was forcing himself to remember.

"Too familiar," he responds, pulling on her arm, guiding her into his lap. He kisses her and she kisses him back, allowing him to tuck her into his chest. She fit against him perfectly. 

"We don't have to stay here," she tells him, sighing as she closes her eyes once he begins to rub her back. "We can take the ship we came here on and find our next planet, right now if that's what you want. We can leave everything behind and start new." 

His hand on her back stills. "Is that what you want?"

"I want what makes you _happy_," she tells him, raising her head to look at him. She didn't like him like this, full of conflict and confusion. They shouldn't have come here. Everything was so much easier when they were by themselves, traveling the galaxy. "Whether that be crash-landing this ship into the nearest mountain range or blowing you on the bunk bed in the back, I don't care, I'll do it." 

He laughs at her words, pulling at his collar when she pulls him closer, pushing his hair behind his ear, tracing the cartilage with her fingertip. "As much as I wouldn't oppose that last part," he tells her, gripping her thigh tighter when her lips go to his jaw. "I think your friends definitely would." 

And, if he's being honest, it feels a little weird to have sex with her on his father's old ship, but those thoughts are soon completely forgotten when Rey slides a hand into his pants with one of her mischevious smiles that he can't get enough of. Besides, it wouldn't hurt to playfully spite the Resistance one last time.

She rides him on the pilot's seat. He bends her over the small table in the corner. He lays her out on the bed, using everything including his hands and mouth until she finally resorts to being nothing but jello in his arms, allowing him to do whatever the hell he wants to do with her without question. He marks her, bruises her to the point where all she can say is his name, and endless loop as he gets her to come, over and over and over again. She's so beautiful like this; warm and relaxed without any mental walls in sight, too blissed out to care about anything other than him. He loved her like this. He loved _her_. 

He watches her fall asleep, wrapping her in one of the fur blankets that used to irrationally annoy him when he was a little boy. Ben makes sure she's dreaming, her mind in too deep of sleep to notice he's missing from beside her when he dresses, trying his best to sneak off the ship without a sound.

It's well into the night when he steps outside, and Ben allows the Force to guide him, all the way across the base until he comes to his mother's memorial. He shoves his hands in his pockets, wishing things were different. Wishing _he_ were different. Would he have continued down the path of Kylo Ren, knowing his mother would have killed herself to bring him back? Would he have run home to her, hugging her and apologizing until she forgave him? 

"Ben." 

He whirls at the voice, so lost in thought he didn't even realize someone was sneaking up on him. 

"Finn," he answers, using his chosen name for the first time, glancing at him with uneasiness as Finn steps closer. 

"I don't know what happened a year ago, when Rey went off to train with Luke," he starts, walking up beside Ben, staring down at the makeshift plaque he and a few others made to rest against the base of a tree. Ben follows his line of sight. "All I know is that she came back broken. Shattered into tiny, unfixable pieces that none of us could figure out how to put back together." 

Ben's eyes close at his words, memories rushing back. His connection with Rey through the Force. The strength she gave him, enough to kill Snoke. The heartbreak they both felt with both were too stubborn to switch sides. He was shattered, too. He just had a mask he could hide behind.

"And I _know_ it had something to do with you," Finn continues, and Ben glances sideways at him. "And I guess... I guess it makes sense now. But you didn't see her how we did. You didn't hear her crying herself to sleep every night. You didn't hear the heartbreak in her voice whenever she spoke to General Leia. She was devastated. Unconsolable. Do you understand what I'm telling you? The amount of power you have over her, when she only knew who you were for a _week_ before any of this happened?"

He knew. Of course, he knew. What _Finn_ didn't know is that he felt her pain, too. They connected through the Force, even when neither of them wanted to. She cried to him, _sobbed_ to him about how much he had disappointed her, almost every night up to the final fight on Exegol. But Finn didn't need to know that. Nobody needed to know that. The only person he owed an apology to was his family and Rey. But he remains quiet, allowing her friend to talk.

"I'm not stupid. I know how she felt about you, how she feels about you now. Or at least I think I do. I at least have an idea about it, but I'm not familiar with any Jedi love stories, so for all I know, I could be way off base. I never understood it, and I still don't think I do, given who you were and what all you did," Finn pauses, reaching up to rub at his face. He was angry, Ben could tell, and he was trying his best to keep that anger at him at bay. "But she is my best friend. And I wouldn't be her's if I didn't at least give you a chance." 

Ben doesn't know what to say. He didn't exactly come here to make peace with everyone. He came here for Rey and Rey only. But Finn _did_ have a point. Rey was _something_ to him, whether that be a girlfriend, or a life partner, or even a wife at this point. But he did know she was his soulmate. And if Finn was allowing bygones to be bygones, he didn't want to be the bad guy. He was tired of being the bad guy. "Thank you," he finally says, nodding appreciatively at Finn. He knows it'll be a cold day in hell the day they _actually_ become friends, but it wouldn't hurt Rey to at least pretend while he's here.

Finn steps closer then, his eyes hard as he looks up at Ben. "But I'm deathly serious. Break her heart again, and I _will_ kill you. I don't care what special powers or weapons you have, I will make you hurt as much as she does. So please, do me a favor, and love her the way she always wanted someone to love her."

He knows he's not exactly joking, and he also knows Finn wouldn't actually stand a chance against him if the issue ever arose, but Ben nods again anyway. It's not like it'd ever come down to it. He'd rather die himself than break Rey's heart again. "I promise," he tells her friend, trying his best not to flinch when he reaches up to slap him on the back a bit harder than he normally would.

"Good," Finn concludes, seemingly satisfied with his speech, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket before stepping away. "Take care of her," he calls over his shoulder, retreating to wherever he came from.

Ben can't get back to the Falcon fast enough. He counts himself lucky that Rey doesn't stir until he stripped himself of everything except his underwear, crawling under the covers to join her in the cramped cot. She's half-asleep, letting out an appreciative moan as he wraps a strong arm around her waist, pulling her to him as he settles in. He stares up at the ceiling of the ship, brushing his fingers through Rey's hair, focusing on the stunning heart of hers, beating against his own chest.

And for the first time, he _actually_ feels like he's Ben Solo once more.

* * *

"Naboo?"

He can't help but flash his smile when she becomes giddy with excitement, leaning forward in the co-pilot's chair, staring at the lush planet in front of them with complete awe. 

"It's where our families started, before everything turned to shit," he tells her lightly with a shrug, squeezing her hand when she glances at him. "It's only fair that we go back and rewrite those memories with better ones."

Rey hums, leaning onto the armrest as she rests a hand on his shoulder, kissing his cheek. "I like the sound of that," she murmurs in his ear, and he tries his best to land the Falcon without any more distractions from her or her libido. 

They land and Rey's eyes grow impossibly wide, taking in all the royal buildings and good people around her. She's never seen such vibrant colors. Never seen so many smiles at once. These people were happy. They were genuinely _happy_. All she's ever known is heartbreak, and exhaustion, and battle. As she looks back at Ben, she can't help but picture them staying here, growing old with kids of their own, far away from war and hardship. They could be happy together. Forever.

Ben allows her to explore Theed, watching her laugh when a group of children in the middle of a game run around her, watching her blush when a shopkeeper positively _insists_ Rey accept a silk dress because it would look absolutely _stunning_ on her. Ben can't help but agree.

He takes her to the palace, showing her the many statues of his grandmother, escorting her past the statue of Palpatine without even paying it a glance. Rey smiles when a group of people work up the nerve to speak with him, the grandson of the beloved Queen Padmé. They either don't realize that he was also once Kylo Ren or they just don't care at all, but Rey's heart swells when he converses with them. They could stay here. It could work. 

They take the transit to the lake country, and he leads her to the house he honestly never thought he'd see again. He remembers the key code to the door, and it slides open to reveal the Amidala lakehouse, just like his parents left it the last time they vacationed here.

"Where are we?" Rey asks, allowing him to pull her by the hand through the foyer, her eyes glued on the glass ceiling, the sunlight painting rainbows across the tiles. "Who's house is this?

"It belongs to the Amidala's," he tells her, taking her to the nearest bedroom, reaching up to remove her bag for her. She looks around with amazed eyes, and he knows he chose well. It was the room his mother always preferred because it reminded her of Alderaan. The bed and furniture were made out of pale, smooth wood, not the standard galactic medal. The sheets were white and the windows were still open, light curtains blowing in the breeze that's sent through the room. She'd seen this room in a dream. She dreamed of it so many times, when she would also dream of Ben. This is where they would always be. "Considering I'm the only one left alive of the Amidalas, it's technically now mine." 

Rey steps away from him, going to the dresser, reaching out to touch the pictures on the surface. First, one of Queen Padmé and her husband Anakin, smiling and happy. The next, one of Bail, Breha and Leia Organa, a family photo when she was a baby. Finally, a picture of the Skywalkers. Leia and Han held their toddler son with smiles on their faces, with Luke making a silly face behind his sister. She reaches out tentatively, her fingertips pressing into the glass frame, brushing the light dust and sand left over from his family's absence from the surface. This house held love. Generations of it. And not just romantic love, not just familial love. Unconditional love. It was everything she ever wanted. Tears prick her eyes and Ben is beside her in a second. 

"I want to stay here, Ben," she tells him, leaning into his hand when he reaches up to cup her cheek. "With you. Permanently." 

He smiles at her, that damned smile she loves so much. "That can be arranged," he responds, leaning down when she stands on her tip-toes, meeting her halfway in a kiss. 

They've slept together countless times over the months they've been together. He fucked her, after training that ran a bit too hot under the collar or after she teased him a bit too much. They've had sex, when it's rushed and quiet when they're on a time crunch or need to be silent. And they've made love, where they allow their bond to do most of the work, connecting them deeper than anything physical ever could.

But this felt different. As he laid her down, allowing her long legs to wrap around him as he entered her, it felt more like a consummation than anything. Like everything before this second was just practice. Every moment of their life together bonded them in more ways than just the Force. He no longer knows where he ends and she begins. Rey nudges his nose with hers, breathless, watching him take her hand, intertwining their fingers together against the mattress.

Human emotions were a fickle thing. Ben spent so long ignoring them, so long pretending like they weren't there, that when he finally allowed Rey in and allowed himself to _feel..._ it felt like he was reborn. He was no longer a man ravaged by war and corruption, no longer someone who fell to the dark side only to claw themselves back out. As he kisses her, listening to her little moans of pleasure against his mouth, he realizes the man he was when they met and the man he was now couldn't be further apart. He loves her, yes, but that's just at the surface. Their connection runs so much deeper, he feels her burrowing into his chest, making herself a home there, filling his heart with her smiles and laughs. Rey saw the good in him when no one else did. She knew what he was capable of, and she didn't accept him until he realized himself what his potential actually was. And as he watches her, writhing and moaning under him, he's grateful she never joined him. Grateful she never gave in, as much as he knew she wanted to. Because if she did, they wouldn't be here. He wouldn't have her breathless in his ear, wouldn't have her hugging him to her as tightly as possible like she needs him to breathe. For all he knows, she _does._

He finishes inside her, just like he's been doing the past few months. They both know the consequences, and for a minute, Ben actually allows himself to _hope_. Allows himself to imagine them, old and grey-haired, still helplessly in love, surrounded by children and grandchildren. New generations that never have to know war, never have to know hatred. Only peace, and family, and love. 

"It's a beautiful thought," he hears Rey whisper below him, feeling her comfortably presence in his head, reading his thoughts. Her eyes are glassy and tearful, but they're full of love as he leans down to kiss her lips. Always so, so full of love.

They stay in bed for the remainder of the day, dozing in and out of sleep, hands and lips wandering, nothing but gentle words spoken between them. She watches him, laughing when he jokes, leaning in to kiss him when he pulls her closer. And at nightfall, when they watch the shooting stars from their bed, Rey allows herself to dream. She was never one to dream of riches or power, or fame or fortune. When she was on Jakku, waiting for parents that would never return, she dreamt of someone. Someone who could understand her, love her, treat her with the kindness that she never knew. And back then, it felt bleak, like she was dreaming of something that was so out of reach. But as she glances as the man beside her, snoring lightly as he lays on his back, she realizes that he was the one she dreamt for all of these years. That he was the one who would care for her, comfort her, fall in love with her, start a family with her. 

And for the first time in perhaps forever, her dreams finally, _finally_ become her reality. 


End file.
